Realization. Light Bulb.

In the car on the way home tonight, I had an epiphany.

In my continuing battle between my flesh and the Spirit, in my daily war to put my sin to death, God has given me grace to give me a picture that stopped me in my thoughts.

I read a fantastic post by John Piper today (link). In it, Piper pleads with us to see that lusts of all kinds, but specifically sexual lusts, diminish the majesty of God, and threaten not only to take away a precious treasure from us, but to heap death upon us instead. I've been thinking all day about this post, and my flesh has repeatedly risen up to combat the truth that God is showing me through His servant. As it was in the car on my way home tonight.

Since I've struggled with the temptation of pornography, one effective reminder that God has given me has been that a vast majority of "stars" in this field are actually victims of unspeakable evil. This knowledge has made it very easy to avoid a lot of what is out there. But the flesh always finds a way to justify its' tempting with the "stars" that are willing to put themselves out there.

So by God's grace I'm thinking on this article, and my flesh is combating the truth, and the Spirit in me is fighting back, so there is this dialog going on. And "those that are willing" comes into my mind as an excuse that I've struggled to have an answer for. Then the answer begins to appear. Women, and men, who willingly show themselves to the world in a way God only intended to be private between a husband and wife, are in reality prostitutes. Selling their physical body for monetary gain. Though you may not have to pay any money to partake of what they are offering, they are giving you something regardless. They are peddling a lie. A corruption. A perversion. Which, when it comes down to it, is the raw form of sin.

A simple definition I use of sin involves taking something good that God has made, and twisting it to oppose His purpose and the goodness He intended. Porn fits that definition perfectly. And as Proverbs puts it, the way of the harlot goes to death (Prov 7:27). Then the answer becomes clearer. There are others who offer what seems good at first, but ultimately ends in the downfall of those who heed the call. The false prophet. The liar. Those who twist the gospel of Christ into something that glorifies man and not God.

To be explicit, this realization means that either:

Porn Stars == Victims of some of the deepest evil men can do.

Or:

Porn Stars == Benny Hinn. Joel Osteen.

Both of these should be easy for Christians to despise, as they are both clear affronts to the God we so desperately desire to serve with all our hearts. There is no desire to partake when we are grieved by what we are looking at. Now it's easier to be grieved no matter who is tempting you in this way.

Theological lessons from a 5 year old

I had a rough day with Noah today. All day long. And then I had an epiphany driving everyone home tonight. I had to write this down somewhere, might as well resurrect this business.

So basically, Noah has been on this binge of arguing/correcting/questioning everything Carrie and I say or do. Example: I'm driving home tonight, and he tells me I'm going the wrong way home. LOL.

So after a rough breakfast, rough nap time, rough drive out, rough drive back, one thing I said near the end of it all was what gave me the light bulb. I tell him to remind me tomorrow to show them a video of lightning (which I've meant to show them). His reply was "what if it's dinner time?" and then "what if I forget to remind you?". And it hit me...Noah is trying to do everything in his own power and control. When all he needs to do is worry about what I ask him to do, and leave the rest to me. He doesn't need to worry about making time or fixing the circumstances to work so that we can watch it. Just remind me, so I can take care of everything.

So I'm sure it's obvious, but he is only doing what's natural for everyone. I think I have to fix up everything and set everything up so that God can do His thing, when really all I need to do is trust Him. I find myself worrying about all the little details and getting caught up in planning and worrying if things are going to work out, when God is on His throne, and He is going to take care of it. All I have to think about is what He tells me to do. When He says "wait", that's all I need to do, not wonder for how long or why or what for. And all this convicts me to have more grace and patience for Noah, like God has for me.

Priorities and Obligations

The last 2 months have been very trying for me. I discovered a really cool way to track my habits and how I prioritize my time, basically by putting the 5 things I want to do every day (or almost every day), and then marking whether I do them or not. I started this last month...and now it's October. Filling out the chart is depressing enough (I have to leave many bubbles empty), but now that I'm looking back on how I've spent my time, it's very humbling. My very first priority (spending time with God) is nowhere near where I want it to be. My time spent on my projects is severely lacking, and I STILL don't have our budget finished. The one thing that I've been pretty good about is exercising, and I probably have my wife to thank for much of that.

I'm not a big "new year's resolution" kind of person, but at some point, I'm hoping I get fed up enough with my slacking that I actually push myself to action here. Like someone once told me "it's not about having enough time to do something, it's if that something is important enough to you that it gets done."

C is for cookie

And apparently I like them a lot. I'm sitting here reading my email, when I notice the flab around my mid section. And I'm disgusted. Seriously, I've been working out (irregularly) for like 9 months, the last 2 of which have been pretty consistent. I feel great everywhere else, but I still have a squishy middle. I really want to get one of these so I can lift heavy, but I don't have that kind of cash laying around, and if I did, my wonderful wife would remind me of the 5 other things I should be spending that money on. So it's dumbbells and creativity for now. Also, I really need to lay off the cookies, and...soda. AGGHHHH! It hurts just thinking about it. I really am full on addicted. A couple weeks ago, I decided I was going to go a day without any soda, just to see how hard it was. Needless to say, the next day, soda was consumed. I know how awful it is for me...I guess I just need to try weaning myself off it. Which I have been doing the last couple weeks. None at dinner, small ones at lunch, and only in social settings. Been working so far. Except this last weekend, that was 4 days long for me, was 4 days of constant social time. LOL, didn't work so well there!

Like butter

Scraped over too much bread. It's not really all that bad, I've just been very busy, every day something is going on, somewhere to go, and I haven't been getting much sleep. I just feel like there is so much I want to do, there just isn't enough hours in the day! Maybe if I could stay home all day and not have to give 9 hours a day to a job like someone I know (you know who you are!).

I think my next big project for the house is going to be scraping all the dead grass off the front yard. I'm thinking I'd rather have dirt than dead grass, at least until I can patch up the sprinkler system and put some seed down! Also, for the first time ever, I'm actually considering PLANTING a tree instead of ripping one out. I think the front yard could use a nice big tree that's good for shade and climbing! Uh, you know, for...the kids...to climb. Yeah.

You keep saying that word

Air conditioning. It's a beautiful thing. Monday techs came out and spent about 5 hours fixing our beloved A/C. And lo and behold, it now works. INCONCEIVABLE!!!

In other news, today, Carrie went yaarrrrd sailing - er, make that "yard sale-ing" (YAARR! Hand over yer booty!!) While she was out, they (because women folk can't do anything alone) decided to hit the Goodwill store. And she found a TV desk-stand-place-thing for me there! SCORE. I must admit, I was a little saddened to have to dismantle my cardboard "entertainment center", but it was for the best. Now I just need a TV that's bigger than 12 inches (and maybe one with stereo sound!), and I'll be all set and ready PLAY!

Jerry would play, man!

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