Priorities and Obligations

The last 2 months have been very trying for me. I discovered a really cool way to track my habits and how I prioritize my time, basically by putting the 5 things I want to do every day (or almost every day), and then marking whether I do them or not. I started this last month...and now it's October. Filling out the chart is depressing enough (I have to leave many bubbles empty), but now that I'm looking back on how I've spent my time, it's very humbling. My very first priority (spending time with God) is nowhere near where I want it to be. My time spent on my projects is severely lacking, and I STILL don't have our budget finished. The one thing that I've been pretty good about is exercising, and I probably have my wife to thank for much of that.

I'm not a big "new year's resolution" kind of person, but at some point, I'm hoping I get fed up enough with my slacking that I actually push myself to action here. Like someone once told me "it's not about having enough time to do something, it's if that something is important enough to you that it gets done."

C is for cookie

And apparently I like them a lot. I'm sitting here reading my email, when I notice the flab around my mid section. And I'm disgusted. Seriously, I've been working out (irregularly) for like 9 months, the last 2 of which have been pretty consistent. I feel great everywhere else, but I still have a squishy middle. I really want to get one of these so I can lift heavy, but I don't have that kind of cash laying around, and if I did, my wonderful wife would remind me of the 5 other things I should be spending that money on. So it's dumbbells and creativity for now. Also, I really need to lay off the cookies, and...soda. AGGHHHH! It hurts just thinking about it. I really am full on addicted. A couple weeks ago, I decided I was going to go a day without any soda, just to see how hard it was. Needless to say, the next day, soda was consumed. I know how awful it is for me...I guess I just need to try weaning myself off it. Which I have been doing the last couple weeks. None at dinner, small ones at lunch, and only in social settings. Been working so far. Except this last weekend, that was 4 days long for me, was 4 days of constant social time. LOL, didn't work so well there!

Like butter

Scraped over too much bread. It's not really all that bad, I've just been very busy, every day something is going on, somewhere to go, and I haven't been getting much sleep. I just feel like there is so much I want to do, there just isn't enough hours in the day! Maybe if I could stay home all day and not have to give 9 hours a day to a job like someone I know (you know who you are!).

I think my next big project for the house is going to be scraping all the dead grass off the front yard. I'm thinking I'd rather have dirt than dead grass, at least until I can patch up the sprinkler system and put some seed down! Also, for the first time ever, I'm actually considering PLANTING a tree instead of ripping one out. I think the front yard could use a nice big tree that's good for shade and climbing! Uh, you know, for...the kids...to climb. Yeah.

You keep saying that word

Air conditioning. It's a beautiful thing. Monday techs came out and spent about 5 hours fixing our beloved A/C. And lo and behold, it now works. INCONCEIVABLE!!!

In other news, today, Carrie went yaarrrrd sailing - er, make that "yard sale-ing" (YAARR! Hand over yer booty!!) While she was out, they (because women folk can't do anything alone) decided to hit the Goodwill store. And she found a TV desk-stand-place-thing for me there! SCORE. I must admit, I was a little saddened to have to dismantle my cardboard "entertainment center", but it was for the best. Now I just need a TV that's bigger than 12 inches (and maybe one with stereo sound!), and I'll be all set and ready PLAY!

Jerry would play, man!

No title necessary

I promised myself I wouldn't do this

It's hot. And I am complaining about it. Seriously. We've been living without A/C for like a month now, but it's really starting to get to me (did I mention that it's the middle of July and well over 100?). I asked Carrie not to complain about it when this whole thing started (because she was...all the time), and she's been a real champ about it since then. But today, I buckled. I can't help it! I'm so stressed out today because the kids haven't been sleeping, and when the kids get bent out of shape, it get's me bent out of shape. And I feel like I need to do something about it, like rip our warranty company a new one, but I don't know what else to do besides call them and leave voice messages that don't get returned. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

This too shall pass, right? At this rate, I think we have autumn to look forward to before we get relief.

Lazy sunday

Man, this past weekend has been pretty cool. I installed a temporary window AC unit downstairs on Friday, and oh man what a difference! We've actually been home for the past 2 days if that tells you anything. I will say that I cannot wait until our central unit is back up, but it's good to have the family home. Also, my dad took care of my car on Friday (thanks 1 million times dad!), so that's one less thing to worry about.

So yeah, I guess this time was just God reminding me that sometimes things don't go the way we want, but He'll bring us through them, it's not the end of the world, no matter how "bad" and "overwhelming" it seems in the moment. Just fix your eyes on Him, and He will see you through. And I have to mention that He has seen fit to see us through by using our family. Kevin and Brooke, mom and dad (on both sides!), you guys all rock, and we really did keep our sanity because of you all.

HOLD ON TIGHT

So much to talk about, man, the craziness!!! In reverse chronological order I think is the best way to run through everything. But first, I wanted to take the time to express my grief about the loss we are all suffering from. Yes, we lost a dear friend, someone who touched all our lives, and we are worse off without him. I am, of course, talking about Billy Mays. I heard a couple other people died recently, but Ed and Farrah don't hurt nearly as much. THIS CAPS LOCK IS FOR YOU, BILLY!!!!

Ok, back to reality. Let's see, my wife is with the kids at her mom and dad's house right now, because they are going to sleep in a house that has air conditioning. Yes, our house is STILL without AC. If I ever hear anyone complain about the heat, I might just beat them, because at least they got to be in a house with AC. Or a car with AC. Which I don't have at the moment either, because my car is back at work, because it won't start! Hoo RAY! Which almost made me late tonight to a very FANTASTIC meeting Carrie and I had tonight. We got to meet with our new tenants! YAY! The house is rented! One GIGANTIC load of my shoulders, let me tell you.

So let's see, we saw Transformers 2 last night. Oh man. I could sum up the movie with a similar review of my last 10 days. You have to take the good with the bad. Only the movie had a lot more bad in it than good. Ugh. Pretty much, if Megan Fox and that other chick who "likes" Sam wasn't in that movie, and no one talked except for the military guys, and those STUPID little twin cars died in the first 2 minutes of the movie, the movie would have been 1 bazillion times better. Seriously. I just saved Paramount like 10 million easy right there, AND I made their movie better. BY A LOT. Ugh. When stuff was blowing up, it was cool, though.

I'm on teh intarwebz!!

We're on Craigslist! Well, I guess since I have this blog I already was, but who's keeping score? Anyway, Carrie and I finally buckled listed our house that is up for rent (shameless plug). So yeah...I'm not sure what to expect. Just having a for rent sign in front of the house has generated so many phone calls, which is at the same time awesome and tiresome.

Also, it is official, I am now a grown up. What could possibly explain this? The fact that I am excited about a new tool (stud finder / laser level)! I think this means that I am going to start wearing floral print shirts and wear my shorts up at my navel, right?

There and back again

The Lord has brought me back home safely. I have a new un-appreciation for highway 152. Yikes. Also, I am definitely not a big city kind of person. I've been to LA and SF and I didn't really care for it, and now that I've been to San Jose/Santa Clara area, I'd say it's pretty much official. Although the area I was in wasn't like skyscrapers everywhere, the culture was very similar. The training was excellent, and the high point of it all was that I got to meet my old friend Taver for lunch, since he lives in the "Man Jose" area. LOL. Seriously, that area is like 85% guys, which makes sense considering the industry in that area. Anyway, it was a good trip, but I really missed my family, and am happy to be home!

Santa Maria!!

I'm in Santa Clara! Yeah, so we just moved, and we're getting all situated and comfortable...and now I'm in Santa Clara for a week. ?Que? Training for work, scheduled months ago. At least it's after most of our stuff has had a chance to get set up. AND the training is very interesting so far, which is great. Not all training is like that.

One thing I think needs mentioning, when I arrived in my hotel room last night, all the lights were off, and the radio alarm clock was on, playing Sinatra or something. Whatever it was, it made me afraid to turn the lights on for a minute, like there was a disco ball hanging in the middle of the room or suede paneling on the walls. Fortunately, there was none of that, but I'm RIGHT next to the expressway, and I've got a floodlight pointing RIGHT at my window to highlight the hotel name on the front. LOL!

Wow wow everyone

So yeah, we moved. Into a new house. CRAZY!! So many things have happened in the last 3 weeks, the mind reels. We just got internet/phone/tv installed today, it's good to be back on teh intarwebs. I just finished installing a new dishwasher (with no leaks, thank you God!!), and everything is getting into the places it needs to. I tell you, there's nothing like moving to let you know just how much C-R-A-P you have.

Let's see, what else...Precept is going good, I taught the last two classes, and I'm still getting positive feedback from everyone, so I guess God really wants me doing this! I have made some pretty good progress on Windkeeper, I had to redo the way rendering data is handled in the engine to accommodate what I want the UI system to do, and overall it was worth the effort. Next week I'll be out of town for work, which I really don't enjoy! I really do hate being away from the family, but this training is actually important, and I am looking forward to it. I just wish there was a way to take everyone with me.

Yeah, so big changes in the Llanos house (including the house!), and I am so blown away and so grateful to God for everything He is doing, it is just so humbling. Time to check the dishwasher one more time, then it's time for bed!

I have seen the future

It's late, and I have to be up early tomorrow, but I wanted to mention that I am posting this via firefox (nothing new for me)...but firefox running on Windows 7. Oh yeah, I installed the RC, and with the hour I've been on it so far, I am SUPER impressed. Think I might finally be able to say goodbye to XP.

No news is good news

Just a quick update tonight. Water is fixed and back on, house is a mess with boxes and stuff everywhere, Precept started back up on Monday, and I still don't like American Idol. However, the show before it, "Lie to Me" is the bomb. Diggity. In case you weren't aware, I don't watch TV. Drives my wife crazy. I might have ESPN on in the evening to catch some scores or highlights, but that's it. But this show, I'll watch with her. Which of course, she thoroughly enjoys.

Also, I'm really looking forward to this: clicky

I believe in the Prosperity Gospel

So it wasn't the swine flu (probably), but my house is just about sick-free now. Which is nice, because being sick is no fun, but having sick kids is about "eighty ninety twenty-one" times worse. I'll take being sick twice rather than have one of my kids sick. Bleh.

Yeah, so let's see, I went to our new house today...and God STILL isn't done blessing us! The water damage in the upstairs bathrooms has been repaired (which we expected), but they ALSO put in new linoleum in both bathrooms (which we didn't). They are also apparently fixing our patio cover/balcony, which is awesome. I am humbled before my God.

Also, I have a lot of work to do now that I can be home and conscious, so more neglecting of windkeeper. Hopefully I can post some more details soon. But now it's time for bed.

Sick kids and carboard boxes

Yikes have we been crazy! First, God is so amazing, words fail. He has given us a new house, and not just any house, but a house that meets all our needs and beyond. It was in pretty bad shape, thrashed carpet, water damage in the upstairs bathrooms, non-functioning kitchen appliances, and in desperate need of paint. There's more that needs to be done, but those were the big ones. Until they got taken care of. AND WE DIDN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR ANY OF IT!! We went one day to look at the water damage, and saw that the house had been totally painted on the inside! Plus the microwave and stove/oven had been replaced! And the very next day, all the carpet was replaced! UNBELIEVABLE! Seriously, we thought the bank was going to be coming back with a higher counter than what we had agreed upon, but it never happened. PLUS, the bank is going to have all the water damage fixed under section 1 repairs of the pest inspection. Seriously, all of this probably would have taken us YEARS to take care of, but God is capable of above and beyond what we can ask or imagine. So, needless to say, it's time for us to start packing!

In other news, Noah and Hannah are both sick in a bad way. We're waiting for the other shoe to drop and for Luke to get it too, but maybe he won't. We'll see.

I know what you're thinking

I fell off the wagon. Online accountability doesn't work, right? HA! Little do you know, for the last 3 days I've been trying to nab screen shots of my older ideas for the game.


This was my first attempt at 3d. Fixed camera looking down, and a guy made out of triangles and rectangles, that actually walks when you press the arrow keys.


My next idea was to have like a RPG type game, where you walk around the map, and then zoom into a real-time 3d combat screen (like above...only better).


Then I learned about game engines, and reusable code and stuff. This is a screen of the farthest I got on my last engine. Everything on the screen, except the blue square, is a user interface control (buttons, slider bar, dragable window with buttons on it, changing mouse cursor, etc). This also was where I started getting into network programming. This demo would create connections that it could connect to from another computer.

I'll actually get into my current progress, and what this game is all about tomorrow (or maybe Saturday).

It's official

I have a five year old. Yup. It happened Saturday. My Noah is a full FIVE years old. Where has the last 5 years gone? I have no idea.

I hope to post more tomorrow in keeping with my ongoing topic. Kind of a crazy weekend, though, and I'm still trying to get some good screen shots to post.

Windkeeper

So technically it's not "tomorrow", but whatever. It's Kevin and Brooke's fault, cause they are still here distracting me!

Anyway. About 10 years ago, I started learning programming. School was lame, so I decided the best way to learn was to make a game! And I did. It went from a text MUD type game, to a 2d side scroller, and then I found out about OpenGL. I moved into 3d, and kept learning as I kept working on it.

Eventually, I started to take this game seriously, and decided that if I was going to make a game, it would do 2 things. It would be the game I want to play, and it wouldn't trade the truth for a lie. I'm so tired of playing games that come close to Biblical truth, that borrows from the "mythos" of the Bible, but then butchers the rest. Angels and demons, so called "God" or gods, none of them get it right. If I have anything to do about it, that's going to change. God help me.

So what's accountability have to do with this? Well, I actually have to work on it if it's ever going to be done, so I plan on using this as an outlet to post progress. If I don't post progress, I'm slacking. Hopefully there is more progress and less slacking, at least in relation to lately. More info soon!

The A word

Accountability. That's what I need. I greatly lack in the "self discipline" department, and the only cure is to put myself out there and make sure that if I fail, I will be subject to scorn and ridicule for the rest of my days. The more people to scorn and openly mock me, the more effective.

I have been working on something for almost 10 years, and it hasn't come to fruition yet. Along the way I've learned A LOT, failed, tried new things, learned some more, and have been battered and bruised. I've kept it hush hush, and those I have told smiled at me as they thought, "yeah right, he'll never finish that".

Now, I know that all of 2 people read my blog, and who can complain, since I only update it once a generation. I'm not kidding myself to think that there will be a ton of people keeping track, but that's ok. The IDEA that it's out there will hopefully keep me plenty motivated. So, tomorrow night, I'll let the cat out of the bag. Tonight, I do a little housekeeping and get some much needed sleep.

Home is where the heart is

So Carrie and I have been looking at houses for the last decade (it feels like), and we have found one or two that we really liked, but they were both short sales, and they both ended up foreclosing. Hmph. Well, one of those houses is back as a foreclosure, so we're gonna go for it again. This has been a really rough time for us because we constantly have to check ourselves to make sure we are not being greedy and that we are content with God has for us. We have to trust in God to meet our NEEDS, and so we have to wait on Him for His timing, and the right house (even if it's the one we are currently in). There has been lots of second guessing, I'm not going to lie, but we have been praying and seeking His will, and we are asking Him to provide. We're going to go see the house on Saturday, so I would appreciate any prayers for our hearts to be sensitive to His will, not ours. Praise be to God!

These times they are a changin

I already talked about how my computer hates me (we're feeling reconciled as of late, though it still need a DVD drive), and I'd like to pass that hatred on to Daylight Savings Time. Seriously, I already have a hard enough time waking up in the morning, I don't need to be getting pushed up an hour on top of that! Last week was the suck, and really set me back as far as getting back on my morning schedule. And let me tell you, especially those of you with your finger up at me about to set me straight, the "extra" hour in fall is TOTALLY NOT WORTH IT!! It's just an excuse to stay up later and lounge around in bed longer. Bleh.

Speaking of morning schedule, my wife is starting work out with me!!! YIPPEE!!! I love it when we find something we can do together, and I love it even more when she's glaring at me for how sore she is (bwahahahaha!). Also, my mom got me some adjustable dumbbells for my (very very early) birthday, and I love that I can actually have some real weight to move around. Thanks Mom!!!

Man I hate computers

Ok not really, but my computer hates me. My home PC has been down for the last week, while I replaced all kinds of parts and waited a week for a fan to get here. Needless to say, last week really sucked, being sans PC. And right now, it looks like this thing isn't done with me yet, because now my DVD drive isn't working! ARRRGGGHHHH!!!

In other news, I taught again in Precept, this time for a different class. It went well yet again (thank you Lord!), and I'm starting to think that this might be something I'm really supposed to be doing. I'm going to continue to pray about it and let God lead me through this, but it's so exciting to see people impacted by the Word, and it's so fun being used by Him when you are really just along for the ride.

I was gonna post something else while my computer was broke, but now I can't remember. I blame the time change. More on that later.

Free of the beast!

You ever have a project that took you over a year and a half to complete? Well I just finished one today at work. Rolled it out into "prod", and no problems yet. Yet. I think I'm going to celebrate. Let's see...I know, I'll post on my blog! Hooray!

In other news, I'm researching weight lifting equipment. 2 20lb dumbbells and bodyweight exercises just don't cut it when you want to get HYYYUUUUUGGGEEE! Which I don't, but it would be nice to be a little stronger and burn enough calories to lose this gut I'm carrying around.

And finally, it just can't be said enough how amazing God is. Being deep in a good Bible study gives you moments of clarity where you really see just how much we should be on our faces before Him in humble gratitude, and how little we ever are.

Have a good 2 weeks (I'm anticipating that's how long it will take for me to post again).

Has it been long enough?

So, I've decided I'm not very good at this whole blogging stuff. In fact, the only reason why I'm posting right now is because I'm waiting for my loser brother to call me so we can conquer the galaxy. Yep, we've moved from conquering the planet (Civ 4) to conquering the galaxy in our new game, (stupid name alert) Sins of a Solar Empire. This latest distraction (forgive me WoW!) is a cross between Starcraft and Master of Orion, which means that it is awesome. But I'm not playing it right now. Because my brother has to put his kids to bed, or something, I'm not sure, but it wasn't THAT important.

Oh yeah, and my wife is a saucy wench. :D Muahahahahahaha!

A failure to communicate

I taught Precept tonight. Hebrews, chapter 1. It was a crazy week, but by the grace of God I finished my lesson and got a lesson plan ready before today. I get to class tonight, fighting off the nervous jitters, and start the lesson. Everything starts out ok, but as soon as I get to days four and five, I'm astonished. Days 4 and 5 were about the humanity of Christ, really, and were an in-depth study into the words "begotten" and "firstborn" in regards to Jesus. I start with the first questions, have people read scripture, and....nothing. Silence. Blank stares. Confused people. I feel like a failure!

I dismiss the panic setting in, and move on to the next questions. I explain stuff, ask questions....nothing. ARGGGHHH! No one is understanding. Moving on to "firstborn" and assuring everyone that I was also still struggling at this point, we go over more scripture and the greek meaning for the word "firstborn". At this point, I can sense people are starting to get frustrated, because they can tell from me that they should be coming to some conclusion, but they're not. And I'm thinking, "Lord, please help me!"

So we come to the end, and I share with them the payoff, the big conclusion statement. The whole room shifts. I can hear people's brains click. Their faces melt from confusion and irritation to sort of a spaced out, blank stare, because the wheels are moving. Hesitated questions start coming, to confirm what is going through their heads. I read the statement 2 more times, and promise to type it up and bring everyone a copy. PHEW!!! That was close! Thanks be to God, it wasn't a total loss tonight.

Now in case you were wondering, I'll go ahead and share with you the closing statement. It's a doosey, so be sure to sit down before you read it:

That while the divine nature made Jesus perfect, eternal, and uncreated, His flesh had to be made perfect, and was begotten fully at His resurrection (perfection), and that in both His divine and created being He is over all that is created and the first to be perfected.

Does he still live?

Yes. Yes I do.

So it's been a while since I posted. Let's see...my wife and kids have all had bouts of sickness, I started working out again (finally), I went back to work, and on Monday, I taught my first Precept class. It was really cool, everyone was so encouraging and positive, and it felt great being up there. Kind of confirmation for me to be doing this. I'll teach again next Monday and then also the following Monday, then I'll get a break for a week. I suppose that's nothing compared to if I get my own class, because then it'll just be me all the time!

I also just checked my email for the first time in about a week. My wife found something that apparently, she thinks I would like to have on my wall.




I LOLed.

Oh yeah, and I'm still awake right now because I was waiting for my brother to call me. He JUST called me. What a slacker :P. No playtime for you now, I need to go ni-nights.

Light at the end of the tunnel

Wow.


I was gonna leave the post at that, but that might lead to wild conjectures as to what I mean by that. Let me clarify. There is a very good chance that my wife will be coming home in 2 days. That's right, not tomorrow, but the next day. That's great, especially considering how well she's doing and how fantastic Isaac has been for her. And now that I'm almost at the end of this, I look around and try to take account of what has actually happened over that last week. It is amazing how much I've had to get done, and how much of it all that is actually done, considering my 3 little distractions. Even with my mom's (amazing) help, it's seriously enough to make a grown man cry and a sane person lose it. But I haven't lost it, and I haven't even cried once. In fact, I'm doing pretty good. How can I be so calm and rational through all this? The Hand of God. It has been on me this whole time, that's the only way you can explain it. To know that He is with you, it's an amazing feeling while you see everything around you going crazy. I've got a thank you list that Carrie and I will process when she gets back, but my Father is at the top.

Speaking of crazy, Precept started up again last night, and I got my schedule. I'm teaching not once, not twice, but FIVE times this semester, which is about 3 more times than I expected. I'm also teaching for both classes, and my first class teaching is the first week of February, which is about a month sooner than I expected. Yikes. Oh and did I mention that we're going through Hebrews? Which means I'm TEACHING on Hebrews? Yeah...

That was a close one

Man, I thought EVERYTHING was going to break on me. My internet hasn't been working since the last time I posted. Fun times.

So what I wanted to say last night was how much I love that my kids are getting bigger. Usually I hate it, but yesterday, Noah, Luke and I went out back and played football. That's right, we all took turns as quarterback, halfback, and blocker, and the boys ran for touchdowns. It was awesome. For the 15 minutes it lasted. Then they both come up to me and tell me they're cold, and want to go inside.

Tomorrow is the first day I'll be alone with the kids. Not really looking forward to it. Mom has been such a huge help, I think I might be relying on having her here more than I realize. I guess we'll see. Thanks for all the help mom!

Go crazy? Don't mind if I do!!!

I'm slipping slowly into madness. The 3 kids in my house all are sick, cranky, and refuse to nap and/or eat. My wife is STILL gone (not her fault), I STILL haven't seen my baby boy (again, not her fault), and just tonight as I'm trying to catch up on laundry, my washing machine now refuses to work (this might be her fault, somehow).

Today's mission was to tidy the house in preparation for detox-ing the house, and we got about 3/4 done. The kids' rooms look great now! The plan this afternoon was to go outside with the kids to mow the lawn and give them much needed out-of-the-house time, but of course, it rained. Bleh.

I have decided that so many things could be worse on so many levels, so I'm going to thank God for it all and go about my business. But the next time you see me, I might be twitching. Just ignore that.

*twitch*

Carrie has left the building

Carrie has left the hospital, and is now on her way to her parents house. Bleh. However, it is a blessing that she has somewhere to go, and her parents are taking care of her, which is amazing. Meanwhile, my mom is taking care of me, and helping take care of the 3 at home. God as provided us with support in this time, and I continue to be thankful. I also miss my wife and my baby boy a lot. Can't wait for you guys to come home.